The Mom
I am a mother of three beautiful, peculiar treasures. I take the job of being Mom seriously, and consider it a blessed responsibility from God. When I attended Liberty University, I had the privilege of becoming certified in Christian counseling for children. This opportunity was a gift, offering me the ability to learn more about my role as a mother, raising children God’s way.
I hope to share with you some of what I’ve learned.
To begin, I want to share with you this verse
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
While studying at Liberty, this verse became a fast favorite, not only as a teacher-in-training, but as a mom. It’s so important to know I am training my children how to live in and influence future society. I am teaching them to live here and now, but I also must prepare them for adulthood. And, what’s more, as a Christian, I’m teaching them to do all this through a Biblical worldview – with Christ front and center of every aspect of their lives.
It won’t be long, my fellow friends with young little blessings, before we all move toward that empty nest. But we have to allow them to fly away gently (small step-by-small step) with trust and faith in God, strength from God, and reliance on God. We cannot push them out in harshness and unprepared and just expect them to fly. Parenting is a responsibility (look that word up; it’s a pretty strong word). We are helping to develop not only the intellect of our future society, our children, but also their moral character. The ability to reason, use proper discernment, and make good choices is key. Children are not completely capable to do this on their own, as their brains haven’t fully developed and will not do so until around the age of 25+/-. Therefore, they still need guidance during this time of learning to rationalize.
More importantly, however, they need guidance towards Christ. Just because you consider yourself a Christian, just because you have always kept your kid “in church,” sent them to VBS or summer Christian camps, or maybe even prayed with them and read them Scripture, doesn’t make them a Christian and doesn’t secure their salvation. You must lead them to understand their reconciliation with Christ is something they must accept for themselves. That it is a covenant between them and God through Christ alone. No one else.
In an interview with The Courage, Natasha Bure (around the time she graduated high school and moved to another chapter in life) said, “I was always influenced in a Christian household. I was going to a Christian school, I was going to church, I was going to Bible study, but at the end of the day, if you can’t make it your own, it’s just something you are following.”
And, speaking from experience, there is such thing as a false convert – especially where children are concerned. So we must be ever active in living out what we preach. Set an example. Not just in word, but in deed. Truly loving our children and bringing them up God’s way. (Read Titus 2/ 1 Timothy 4:12/ 1 John 3:18 – to name a few). There are also a few more passages of Scripture that parents need to read and really think about in their relationship with their children.
After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I’d also recommend reading “Loving Your Child Too Much” by Gary Sibcy and Tim Clinton. It’s a great book I used when studying at Liberty and helps a lot with parenting struggles. There is a middle ground to strive for in your relationship with your child. On one side there’s overindulging, overcompensating, overprotection, being overly lenient, lacking disciplinary actions, inconsistency, and on the other side there’s being overly authoritative, legalistic, unreasonable and overly controlling. Healthy parenting is finding balance between these (freedoms and restrictions). As Clinton and Sibcy state, “Our heavenly Father provides the perfect example of balanced control. He doesn’t constantly judge or criticize. In fact, He cherishes us” (p.126). We can learn a lot from our Father, just as our children will learn a lot from us.
Law (rules) without love leads to rebellion.
Love without law leads to rebellion.
The Courage, Natasha Bure, Tim Clinton, and Gary Sibcy do not sponsor, endorse, or is not affiliated in any way with Lights in the Darkness and its contents.
References
All Scripture (unless otherwise noted): English Standard Version Bible. 2021. BibleHub.com and English Standard Version Bible. 2016. Crossway
Jordan, C. “Daughter of Candace Cameron Bure opens up about being raised in a Christian home in Hollywood.” Retrieved February 4, 2021, from https://www.thecourage.com/daughter-of-candace-cameron-bure-opens-up-about-being-raised-in-a-christian-home-in-hollywood/
Clinton, D. T., & Sibcy, D. G. (2006). Loving Your Child Too Much. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.