Before social media blasted onto the internet scene, we were a society that was able to keep our personal lives well-locked behind closed doors—unless you were the gossip at social gatherings. Today, however, you cannot go one minute without seeing what someone has eaten, where they are going, where they’ve been, what their spouse or children have done wrong or right, what they’ve accomplished…even when they use the restroom (yea, there’s actually an app for that!). The word “privacy” has become folklore—taboo even—that we only hear regarding medical and legal records—at least until someone is offended. Lack of discretion is causing hardship, though—for us, for our spouse, for our children, and for our friends.
First, let us rediscover what discretion means exactly:
DISCREET – having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech :
Prudent (marked by wisdom; the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason; Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.)
Unpretentious (free from ostentation [excessive display : vain and unnecessary show especially for the purpose of attracting attention, admiration, or envy—bragging in other words], elegance, or affectation [speech or conduct not natural to oneself : an unnatural form of behavior meant especially to impress others])
Modest
Unobtrusive; Unnoticeable
We are loud about things we shouldn’t be and quiet about things that matter. We need to pray for discernment—when to speak, when to stay silent.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak”
Not everyone needs to know you just spent $200 on dinner at that beach resort. Not everyone needs to know that your husband made you angry because he forgot to take out the trash again, or your wife is taking forever to get ready for your dinner date, or your kids are driving you nuts because that snow day has them home from school. Not everyone needs to know that you just donated to that local charity.
On the other hand, sometimes people need public rebuke for sin after you’ve approached them personally (1 Timothy 5:20; Matthew 18:15-17). Sometimes a personal situation needs prayer from others (James 5:14; Philippians 4:6) Also, our sinfulness needs to be confessed and prayed over (James 5:16). Our faith needs to speak boldly, unashamedly, so to shine His light [not our own] (Matthew 5:14-16; Roman 1:16; Acts 13:47). And we need to constantly share the Gospel (Matthew 28:18-20). These are the things our social platforms should display.
Let us also be aware of “humblebragging” and false modesty. We want to show off to others, but in a “modest” (*wink, wink*) way that makes it seem justifiable.
I believe this is something the majority is guilty of in some way.
“Asking for prayer over us as we travel to the Bahamas on the cruise we just had to shell out $3,000 for – whew! That hit the wallet hard, but we haven’t been on a vacation in a long time.”
“Not sure I can tackle this home renovation as we upgrade with new appliances and flooring – so prayers are welcome!”“
It’s been such hard work, but I’ve now lost 75lbs.! Praises to God for helping me and allowing me to repent for the sin of my gluttony. Only 25 more pounds until I reach my goal!! Not sure if I can do it, but I’m gonna keep going!”
There are so many examples.
Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. with Psychology Today claims that “Humblebraggers are rated as less likable and competent than complainers, braggarts, or people simply expressing humility, because they seem insincere.” We must be incredibly careful about how we present ourselves to others. Yes, God knows the heart. He knows our true motives. If we really need prayer for something, it is not wrong to ask with proper motive. If we feel we are being boastful, perhaps ask for prayer in a manner that’s not showy. Be direct, to the point, and not ostentatious (Examples—re-wording those humblebrags above—”Asking for prayer for safety as we travel”; “Asking for prayer as I try to overcome my sin of gluttony.”).
Furthermore, let us maintain a sense of propriety. Our online presence shouldn’t falter in glorifying God, acting as His servant and ambassador. When we proclaim Christ as Lord and Master of our lives, submitting to Him fully, we grow in maturity and sanctification—holy, set apart, unlike the profane, unlike the world. Filthy language, selfies that focus on vanity or immodesty, posting with the intention of creating dissension, inappropriate jokes, memes that are derogatory or ridicule others, even downright vulgar content, these are the things we should avoid. There’s so much out there floating in cyberspace, we must us Christlike discernment when sharing and supporting. We should also be teaching our teenagers to uphold those same principles if they possess an online presence.
Overall, let us sustain online character which testifies to our claim of being a Christian—little Christ or Christ follower. I leave you with Scripture to meditate on and pray over.
“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 (with added emphasis)
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
References:
“Discreet.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discreet. Accessed 4 Jul. 2021.
“Prudence.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prudence. Accessed 4 Jul. 2021.
“Prudent.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prudent. Accessed 4 Jul. 2021.
“Prudent.” Lexico.com, Oxford English and Spanish Dictionary, https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/prudent. Accessed 4 Jul. 2021.
“Ostentation.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ostentation. Accessed 4 Jul. 2021.
“Affectation.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/affectation. Accessed 4 Jul. 2021.
Whitbourne, Susan Krauss. Ph.D. 2018. Psychology Today. Why People Hate Humblebragging. Retrieved on July 6, 2021 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201803/why-people-hate-humblebragging
All Scripture (unless otherwise noted): English Standard Version Bible. 2021. BibleHub.com and
English Standard Version Bible. 2016. Crossway