I want to correct and fine tune what’s true and acceptable for women in the church.
First, I want to establish the two key views of women in the church.
- Egalitarian. Egalitarian views assume women are equal to men in every aspect. There are no distinct roles. Galatians 3:28—”There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”—is typically used to support the egalitarian view.
- Complementarian. Complementarian views assume women and men are equal in value, yet have distinct, biblically-patterned roles to fulfill. Complementarians suppose women are to remain silent and only teach children and other women. 1 Timothy 2:11-14—”Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.”—is typically used to support the complementarian view.
At first, I hadn’t really given it much thought, even having attended Liberty University, fulfilling my education in 2014 with apologetics and theology under my belt. Then, just a couple years ago, if you would have scrolled through my Facebook, you would have seen someone who was solid egalitarian. Even though much of my home church family was hard complementarian, I hadn’t seen a problem with a woman teaching/leading anyone. Women could do anything men could do (sometimes even better than any man), right? *I’m being facetious here. In 2019, a book was suggested to me penned by—what I’ve recently learned—someone who is a false teacher. This book drove me further into my egalitarian beliefs, and I even did a write-up about it, sharing it publicly. After that, let me tell you, I had been praying for truth to be revealed…in more ways than one in life, and boy! did God ever reveal that truth I was seeking!
In 2020, I was introduced to a few “Youtuber” apologists. My eyes were opened to truth, and much of what I write for and against today was revealed. My love for theology and apologetics were reignited, and although I’d always been known on Facebook as “Lights in the Darkness” (a signature I created to post my studies and beliefs), the desire to make it official was conceived, thus birthing what you see before you today.
As I’ve grown, and will continue to do so, I’ve gained a lot more understanding of truth, and I am pushing out of my comfort zone in various ways in order to share the Gospel and the light of Christ as His ambassador.
With all this said, I first want to apologize to anyone who may have read and been led astray by things I’ve written about before which were false teachings. I have a note on this which apologized for the false-theology music I utilized with my youth. Now I am doing it once more with my previous views of a woman’s role within the church.
After much study of Scripture, listening to sound teaching, and gaining better biblical understanding, I feel more confident on where I stand on this issue.
If I have to solidify my stance, it would be “soft complementarian” as some say.
What does this mean?
Well, I’ve heard a few people describe their stance under this title, but here’s my own understanding:
Men and women do have equality as both being God’s children in salvation, and Galatians 3:28 speaks to this purpose. Looking at this passage in its full context, Galatians 3:23-29 states,
Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.
“The key to understanding ‘neither male nor female’ here is to ask why Paul links these three pairs (Jews/Greek, slave/free, male/female) together in this context” (Cottrell 432). Scripture doesn’t just write about one or the other, nor does Scripture mention any other set for comparison. When we read the verse in proper context, we see it is speaking of salvation—being under the law, imprisoned, then being set free by Christ. In salvation, we become children of God; no matter under which category we fall: Jew, Greek, male, female, slave, or free, all saved are equally His children (see also Romans 2 and Colossians 3:11). A promise made to Abraham; a promise kept as those in Christ are also Abraham’s offspring. To understand this further, “the Law of Moses, embodying the common practice of the day, limited the inheritance of property to free Jewish males. That is, Gentiles, slaves, and women ordinarily did not inherit the family property. … [However]…All baptized believers are one with Christ, and thereby inherit salvation” (Cottrell 433). With better understanding, we can see this passage of Galatians does not pertain to “roles” as egalitarians wrongfully interpret.
Men and women do have specific roles to fulfill within the church and at home.
Here are a few passages of Scripture which paint the portrait of these roles. I’m not going to delve into them at this point but want to offer them for your studies.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.
*I will comment-
This passage has been interpreted a few different ways. Looking at its full context, Paul is offering Timothy charge in how to correct public/corporate worship. Obviously, men were angry and argumentative (vs. 8), so correction for them was to “pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.” Another observation we see for correction was for women to dress decently (physically and spiritually). So, it’s discernable to say they were not dressing or acting in proper manner for worship, since the correction was to adorn themselves with “what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” (vs 10). Being that this comes directly before verse 11, it’s appropriate to assume the women in worship were not acting appropriately, perhaps even trying to usurp authority (a possible interpretation, although the text doesn’t exactly state this). The undertone with the passage in its entirety seems that the women in this worship, maybe a particular kind of woman—since Paul shifts gears from using “women” to using “a woman” in verses 11 and 12—were not acting according to submission order (vs. 11), perhaps usurping authority, perhaps being equally argumentative as men (sassy, brassy, chatter-box attitudes), and not adorning themselves with good works as they should for someone who “professes” godliness.
Ally Yarid had a beautiful thought to share:
“God’s not oppressive. He’s good. He designed and gifted women with kingdom roles. …Having the same identity in Christ does not mean we have the same roles for working in His kingdom. …Having order in the household and in the church is not a bad thing. God designed both. It is very much a good thing.”
To say women and men are equal in roles is to claim Christ and His church are equal in roles. This line of thought would commence the belief that the church can be the head, Christ isn’t the only. This is a false idea which can have severe consequences.
So what are these roles?
In the home, the roles can look something like this:
It’s important to make the distinction here that there’s a difference between being an individual Christian, your body as the temple, added to the church at salvation, and being the church collectively, corporate/public worship of gathered Christians. Things that we may do on our own as Christians and things we do collectively as the church look slightly different. God is a God of order. Scripture confirms this and sets guidelines for corporate worship. *Please note, this does not mean we can act however we want in our personal lives and leave Christianity at the door of the church building! That’s not what I’m saying here. Church is every individual coming together, not a building. Works are evident (holiness) in each individual when genuinely saved.
“The first-century church engaged in several devotional acts in their worship services, from which we can determine what comprises a truly biblical worship service: the communion supper was observed (Acts 20:7), prayers were offered up (1 Corinthians 14:15–16), songs were sung to the glory of God (Ephesians 5:19), a collection was taken (1 Corinthians 16:2), the Scriptures were read (Colossians 4:16), and the Word of God was proclaimed (Acts 20:7)” (Got Questions).
There are also God-ordained roles within the church. Two roles we see in church structure are Overseer (Elder/Pastor/Bishop)—both teaching and nonteaching—and Deacon (servant). Within these roles, there are specific criteria to be met.
First, let’s understand the role of Overseer (Elder/Pastor/Bishop). This is the same role, just various titles (episkopos, presbyteros, poimēn) used interchangeably. I’ll use Overseer here. From Scripture we gather that Overseers “rule” and shepherd the church, as in, preside over and care for the church. This role for the Overseer includes, but is not limited to, guiding, directing, controlling, correcting, knowing God’s Word and exegeting it properly, nurturing, encouraging, and setting an example. Looking at 1 Timothy 5:17, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching,” we can gather not all Overseers preach and teach, but have a job to lead the church, nonetheless. From what’s gathered in Scripture, there are a plurality of Overseers, and no one is above another (no hierarchy), nor are Overseers above reproach (being corrected/rebuked/reprimanded, but there must be witnesses [1 Timothy 5:19-20])—although, their works are called to be evident, above reproach; in other words, they shouldn’t need correction, because they should set an example and live in holiness and truth, but they aren’t above correction if they are in the wrong.
Qualifications for being Overseer are found in these passages:
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.
This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth. To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.
So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
By these passages, we can see that women cannot be Overseers/Pastors/Elders. The role is fulfilled by a male/husband/father. This is a man’s role within the church.
Second, let’s understand the role of Deacon. This one is a little trickier.
A Deacon is a servant, typically one who “cares for the poor and has charge of and distributes the money collected for their use” (Blue Letter Bible).
Qualifications for Deacons are outlined in 1 Timothy 3 as well.
Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. [Women/wives] likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
This is the tricky part. “Women” mentioned here is gynē in original Greek. This word means woman, but it also denotes wife. Paul doesn’t elaborate, and this passage has been interpreted both ways, either to mean women Deacons or to mean wives of Deacons. The way I have interpreted this is by comparing it to other cases where the word “Deacon” is used. There is only one word for Deacon, “diakonos.” Diakonos is a neutral noun, both masculine and feminine (therefore, to use “deaconess” is inaccurate). These are a few ways diakonos is used:
If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.
And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.
Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him.
I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a [deacon/servant] of the church at Cenchreae, that you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well.
So, from these examples, we can see the word diakonos can simply mean servant or minister (one who gives aid or service to another, not a “preacher” or “pastor” as many have come to know the term “minister” today). Even angels ministered, and Satan has his own evil servants.
We could say the office of Deacon is singled out from being a deacon—like we see with the office of Evangelist. Everyone is an evangelist, meaning everyone is commissioned to carry out the Gospel of Christ and make disciples, but only some (no distinctions are made between men and women in this role) are called to be in the office of an Evangelist (Ephesians 4:11-14). Likewise, we could say all Christians are deacons, but only some are called to be in the office of a Deacon for a specific local church—which, going by the definition, would be handling money, caring for the poor, and other servant roles on behalf of that church. Being that this position does not usurp authority, and Phoebe was clearly a Deacon for the church at Cenchreae (a specific role within that church it seems), I do not see where it is wrongful to interpret this to mean women can fulfill the role of Deacon if so qualified.
Third, let’s understand the role of teacher. Anyone who gives doctrine, correction, the Gospel, etc. is teaching (2 Timothy 3:16/ Galatians 6:1).
“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Although this is directed towards the eleven disciples before Jesus’ ascension, it has been commissioned to be carried out by all Christians (“to the end of the age”) to bring the lost to Christ by all Christians who are all evangelists. This is why we call it The Great Commission. So, with this in mind, we are all teachers. This is also seen in Colossians 3, focusing on verse 16.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”
With this passage, we cannot neglect “in all wisdom,” which would stipulate certain requirements. The meaning of “wisdom” here is “skill and discretion in imparting Christian truth” (Blue Letter Bible). If we do not have truth and true Christian wisdom which we are able to communicate (and wisdom from above is explained in James 3:17), we do not quite meet the qualifications to teach and reprove others. 1 Corinthians 14:26 is another outline.
“What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.”
Being that all Christians can be teachers (male and female), not all can teach in a position which usurps authority, such as what we studied with being an Overseer.
Furthermore, Priscilla, along with Aquila (her name is listed primary in the passage of Acts 18), hear Apollos speaking boldly in the synagogue, and they both correct him. Although it doesn’t give in-depth details, this was corrective instruction with the Gospel.
I do not see where it is wrongful to interpret these examples to mean women can teach others, so long as it is not in an authoritative position of Overseer (again, Pastor/Elder) in corporate worship. Women teaching in an appropriate biblical manner would also include instruction in specific areas by a woman fully qualified on a specific topic (ex. apologetics) to both males and females outside of corporate worship (ex. via social media, blogs, conferences, podcasts, etc.).
*With this in mind,
It may be acceptable for women to teach on specific topics—in which she is fully qualified—within the local body on condition that there is no qualified male leadership and/or it is under the authority and approval of the Overseers whereas it does not exercise authority, does not act to deliver a message as an Overseer, and will not cause division.
Wording adapted from Shanda Fulbright
Lastly, other roles, like singing (a hymn to share), public prayer, and utilizing spiritual gifts to build up the body toward unity (all seen in passages like 1 Corinthians 14:26/ Acts 2:42/ 1 Thessalonians 5:11/ Ephesians 4) can be carried out by both men and women. Youth leaders, likewise, can be both men and women, however, there is no passage of Scripture to support the role of a youth leader. In other words, there’s no such thing. In fact, studies conducted have demonstrated how separating youth from the rest of the church is doing more harm than help.
To sum:
I implore you to read and study Scripture. Seek answers in God’s Word, first and foremost, and utilize what wisdom others have gained from their studies (being incredibly careful not to seek doctrine from false teachers—test the spirits). One in-depth study completed by Mike Winger may be a good resource for commentary. I also enjoyed Shanda Fulbright’s Podcast 146 on Her Faith Inspires—which she quotes from other respected apologists I follow as well (remember those “YouTubers” I mentioned at the beginning of this post?).
One final note: It’s OK, sisters, to be bold for Christ, to have solid, sound theology and doctrine, and to speak truth in love. It’s OK, sisters, to say “no” to the cotton-candy-fluffed, theologically-empty women’s conferences, devotions, and “studies.” (Just because they make you “feel” good, doesn’t mean they are holy and pure and truthful. Good feelings ≠ Truth.) Likewise, it’s OK, sisters, to submit to the feminine roles God has designed for us—being graceful, nurturing, hospitable, modest, gentle, sensitive, humble, thoughtful and wise. We do not have to sacrifice strength, intelligence, and intrepidness on the altar of femininity. We can be gentle and quiet-spirited, classy, and submissive while we are boldly proclaiming Christ and His Gospel with truth. We can hold sound doctrinal truth and teach it to our children as we disciple them in a nurturing, haven-making, homemaker’s role. Sisters, we can still be everything God’s design for us in femininity calls us to be while being theologically accurate, fervent in spirit, and fearless of sharing the faith. As Christians we must.
There’s a lot more to be said about womanhood, but that will wait for another day
References
What are the ingredients to a truly biblical worship service? Got Questions. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.gotquestions.org/worship-service.html
G1249 – diakonos – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (ESV). Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1249/esv/tr/0-1/
G4678 – sophia – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (ESV). Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g4678/esv/mgnt/0-1/
John A Baptist. Is Age Segregated Ministry Multiplying or Dividing the Church? YouTube. September 11, 2012. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://youtu.be/J18BP4AbtpI
All Scripture (unless otherwise noted): English Standard Version Bible. 2021. BibleHub.com and
English Standard Version Bible. 2016. Crossway
Fulbright, Shanda (Host). 2022, September 10. Do women have to keep their mouths shut in church? (No.146) [Audio Podcast]. In Her Faith Inspires Podcast. Her Faith Inspires Podcast: 146: Do women have to keep their mouths shut in church? (libsyn.com)